c. Kyla McClean.
All rights reserved.
The next morning Arion was stiff, dirty and miserable. He ran a hot bath to soak his aching muscles, finishing off with a brief rinsing shower. As usual, he had received a clean change of clothes last night with his supper. He put these on and sat down at the table, head in his hands. The bath had helped, but it didn't change anything. Not anything important.
Kim came in with his breakfast, setting it in front of him. Reflexively, he smiled his thanks, but it was brief and insincere. She paused, and smiled back, cocking her head slightly. Arion stared at her, shocked. He smiled again, more fully now. Hers widened. She turned then, obviously satisfied with his response, and left.
He gazed after her, fascinated. She was a damat, and he had ignored her, just as she had ignored him, but she had been concerned by his depression, had cared enough to wait for a genuine smile.
He ate his breakfast, feeling unreasonably better. Thank You. I'm so busy worrying about everything that I've forgotten the more important things. I never knew it could be so hard. I never thought... I just can't think right anymore. He sighed, laughed softly to regain the pleasure of Kim's smile, and ate his breakfast.
It was nearly lunchtime when Raach appeared in the doorway. "Hello, Cedrychad."
Arion rose. "Hey."
"So," he said, looking around. "What do you think?"
Arion smiled, amused. Arrogant vampat. "A definite improvement, thank you. But I think I'll be used up soon."
"Oh, we will not let that happen," said Raach, smiling. "You will get days off. It will not always be so hard. But you might find it advisable not to aggravate him."
"That takes all the fun out of it," he answered smiling. "So, why so generous? Why give me this?"
"You are Cedrychad. A Cedrychad has greater needs than a damat, eh? Sharsa is very good with his damats, but he knows nothing about you."
Arion shrugged, noncommittal. "He was trying to find out."
It was Raach's turn to be amused. "You worked very hard to prevent him, but now you defend him." He paused, but Arion remained silent. "Is there anything you want that you do not have?"
"Some toothpaste would be nice. And that tool," he added, gesturing towards the workbench.
He smiled. "Yes, I am sure you would like that very much. Some things you will be denied, but if I want you to have them, you will. The toothpaste you may have, the tool you may not."
Arion sighed heavily and shook his head in exaggerated disappointment. He smiled then, his real question answered. "Ah well. One out of two, huh?"
They were silent then, studying each other. Arion realized suddenly that Raach was curious. Like a boy, gazing at a bee in a bottle, knowing it was harmless, but also knowing it could sting him if it got loose...
An intelligent bee, he too was curious. Trapped within his jar, he knew Raach could tear his wings off any time he chose, would not hesitate once the choice was made. Vampat. Without a soul, could he recognize his own brutality?
"What do you think of Reegat?" asked Raach, breaking his chain of thought.
He looked at him, hesitating. "I think he's shallow, obnoxious, and predictable," he answered without rancor.
Raach nodded. "He is young. He will learn. ...You will teach him." Arion held his gaze, silent. "Do you have any questions?"
"What's this made of?" he asked, holding up the leash.
"You have no word for it. We call it shastek. It prevents you, eh?"
"Yeah, that it does. ...Was Sharsa... Was he part of Reegat's visit?"
"No."
He paused, somewhat gratified. "What does the Rikshastika think of him?"
Raach smiled then, scornful. "What would your friends think of him? He is talented but naive. He will never understand why he could not tame you. And you would kill him the first chance you got."
"I would kill you."
"Of course. But you will find me much more difficult to kill. Other Gadamis have tried."
"Maybe I'll get a chance sometime."
"Would you kill me now?" He came closer, well within reach. "You may try if you wish. I will not punish you for trying."
Arion smiled suddenly, almost laughing. "I told you on the carrier, I'm not stupid. Can I save that offer, till I'm stronger?"
Raach did laugh. "You will never be strong enough to defeat me."
"Maybe. But can I save the offer?"
"Yes," he said, growing serious, "but the time will be of my choosing."
"Fair enough. Did Sharsa lie to me?"
Raach nodded, smiling faintly. "Part of the time."
"What was a lie?"
"I do not care to tell you that. You use lies quite freely yourself, and yet you consider yourself honest and honorable."
"I don't lie to my own," he answered easily.
"The lowly vampats do not count, eh? Then what does it matter if he lied to you?"
"It doesn't. I was just curious. It won't make any difference now anyway."
"Truth."
Another silent pause, then Arion said, "Well, I've met papa bear, and I've met the baby bear. When do I meet the mama bear?" Raach stiffened, then relaxed slowly, though his ears remained negative. Intrigued by his reaction, Arion added, "I know you guys are physically different from us, but even though we’ve never seen one, our scientists insist that you possess sexual opposites. So where's Reegat's mother?"
Raach hissed. "You are impatient," he observed before answering. He paused again, and this time Arion waited. "Our females live apart from us, a separate society. At a given time, those of age, and without a very young child, go to visit. At the end of the visit, weaned sons are given to their fathers. I tell you this much, but we do not speak of them."
"What do they look like?"
He turned to leave, pausing in the doorway. "You will have your toothpaste. If you want anything else, ask for it." He left.
Arion sat down in his chair, leaning back, letting the tension seep out of him. So they didn't talk about their better halves, huh? Well, that was all right too. He didn't really care what they looked like, he just wanted to see what kind of reaction he would get.
Raach was more immediately frightening than Sharsa, and yet, oddly, he seemed less of a threat. Maybe it was just being out of the marshmallow room. Still, Raach's goals were straightforward and understandable. More importantly, his own mistakes wouldn't hurt anyone else.
Reegat might, when he learned.
Kim came in, scattering his thoughts. He smiled, meeting her eyes. She smiled back, bright, cheerful, present. She set the tray down and left. Arion sighed, still smiling. It's amazing how much power You've given to a simple human smile.
He looked down and laughed softly. Enough to eat is nice, too! Thank You. Thank You for the good things. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, diced fruit, salad, and... Well, whatever it was, it was green and leafy and it tasted good. He had given up second guessing the food with the tubers, and he saw no point in starting now.
It pleased him, too, to receive his dinner at mid-day, with a light supper in the evening. It would make the lessons far easier.
He sighed then, wondering again what he could do about Reegat. The whole idea had seemed completely novel, though faced with it now, it made sense. He was nothing more than the mouse which Raach had brought home for his youngster to practice on.
But even mice sometimes escaped. Having made it so far without dying, he felt, with unreasoning certainty, that God must have a task for him. This added to his confidence, and to his determination.
Somehow or another, the leash had to go. If only he could reach the workbench... Kim came in to fetch the dirty dishes. He looked up, smiling, then stared at her, stunned... She looked at him, her own smile uncomfortable and self-conscious. Arion dropped his eyes, apologetic, unable to explain, his mind still racing to find the answers... She left.
He stared at the empty doorway, his thoughts tripping and colliding in his excitement. She was his purpose, and his means of escape, but how to accomplish it? He was tense, trembling, unable to think. He shook his head as if to clear it, frustrated.
He had a sudden urge to run, full-out, non-stop, needing to move, needing space, desperately seeking to escape the confusion in his mind... A whimpered moan, for he had only walls and a leash. Aviel... He pulled out his pocket pal and curled up on his bed, slipping in a music coin, closing his eyes...
When Kim came in with his supper, he smiled shyly. "Kim," he whispered, horribly afraid she would become frightened. She smiled and cocked her head, as if surprised to her name from someone other than Raach. Thank You!
"Kimku," he whispered, smiling, holding out a berry muffin. Yavin had not been willing, but she obviously wasn't Yavin. She was human. "Kimku," he whispered again when she hesitated, meaning, 'good Kim.' She smiled, but stood still. "Ta," he whispered then. She came slowly, and he placed the muffin in her hand.
She smiled again, but hesitated, as if deciding. She ate the muffin, then began to remove her shirt. Arion groaned, shocked and horrified. She was only a child, perhaps fourteen or fifteen years old. "No Kim, ma. Ma." She looked at him, puzzled, but stopped. "Kimku. Kimku," he reassured her. "Kimku sa."
She left slowly, uncertain. He smiled warmly at her. "Kimku." She smiled finally, and was gone.
Arion sighed. He picked at his supper, no longer hungry, but when she returned for the dishes, he was ready. He had saved two strips of bacon, and he offered them to her.
She stared at him, curious, but accepted them and ate. He smiled as she ate, and she watched him, her own smile curious and reserved. When she finished, she took hold of her shirt again, but paused, watching him.
He smiled broadly and shook his head. "Ma. Kimku. Ma." He held the dirty dishes out to her. She gave a silent laugh, apparently thinking him quite strange, but she took the dishes and left.
Arion sat back, satisfied and determined. She did not belong here, and neither did he. It would take some time, but that at least was something he did seem to have.
When Raach brought Reegat in for the lesson that evening, Arion pushed him as hard as Raach would allow, easing up only when warned. It was good to move, to use his muscles for a purpose, and his thoughts came clearly, automatically, adding to his confidence.
Raach stepped in from time to time, illustrating one thing or another for Reegat to imitate. As the lesson wore on, his energy left and Reegat began to take the upper hand. As it turned out, Reegat was not allowed to take advantage of the leash, nor to damage him, so his main enemy - for the moment - was fatigue.
Denied the option of stopping, Arion focused on the satisfaction of pushing himself to his limits, of fully venting himself as his energy failed.
At last Raach called a halt, and Arion stood, swaying but erect. Raach nodded, smiled, and left. Arion went into the bathroom, showered, and collapsed into bed.
The next morning he woke stiff and aching, knowing he would, but stubbornly satisfied that he was not also dirty. Nevertheless, he groaned softly and ran a tub of hot water, sinking in, letting the heat work on his muscles as best it might.
When he came out, his breakfast was already on the table. He ate hungrily, but saved the pastry for Kim. When she came in, he held it out to her, smiling. Her eyes widened and she accepted immediately, tasting it eagerly.
He laughed softly. "Kimku." She smiled at him, finished, and stood there licking her fingers. She cocked her head again, but this time simply watched him, waiting. Arion smiled, and held out his dishes. She accepted them and left.
Arion watched her go, pleased. She had enjoyed the pastry very much, and it was good, simply to do something that made someone else happy. She probably didn't have sweets too often. This thought caused another, less pleasant one - what if she couldn't eat sugar? But, he reasoned, comforting himself, she had recognized what it was, so must have had it before.
He pulled out his pocket pal and slipped in Holo-Sculpt. The menu came up:
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Holo-Sculpt Level 1: Tutorial Level 2: Beginner - Geometrics Level 3: Beginner - Textures Level 4: Intermediate - Machines Level 5: Intermediate - Life forms Level 6: Advanced - Machines Level 7: Advanced - Life forms Level 8: Advanced - Beginning Animation Level 9: Advanced - Intermediate Animation Level 10: Full Animation |
He keyed level 0, though he had seen it before. It ran through a demonstration of the different levels, ending with level 10 where it strutted its stuff, showing a hologram of a rose bud opening in time lapse, then another of a cheetah running across a golden plain. It returned to menu.
It was still a new coin, so he went through the tutorial, impatient, eager. He practiced then: a cube, a pyramid, a sphere, the 3-D images translucent and ghostly. The sphere was not so difficult as he had imagined - once you knew how to talk to the unit.
He toyed with the cube then, giving it seams and a latch. He sighed in frustration as it fell apart when he tried to open his 'box.' The basic shapes were more or less simple, but he would have to learn more in order to manipulate them.
And so he practiced, and cultivated his friendship with Kim. Sometimes, after giving her a tidbit, he would simply hand her his dishes. Other times he tried to show her things, to keep her interested in more than just his food.
After four days of lessons, Arion was given two days off, and then they began again. His energy returned quickly, but Reegat's stamina was impressive, still lasting longer than his own. More troubling was his continuing difficulty with his thoughts, fluttering and skittish, and he wondered if it would ever go away.
Finally, after roughly two weeks in Raach's house, he felt ready to try. His thinking seemed better now, and his sculpture was as near to perfect as he could bring it. When Kim came to collect his lunch dishes, he gave her some bacon, and half a muffin. She ate, then looked at him. He showed her his sculpture.
He was rather proud of it. He had replicated Raach's tool as closely as he could from memory, adding color and texture so that the image was quite lifelike. "Kim... Kim, look." She was unimpressed, but looked. She frowned slightly and cocked her head at him, curious, maybe, why he was showing her something so dull.
She reached out to touch it, but it disappeared as her hand disrupted the image. Her face brightened and she smiled at him, removing her hand so that the image reappeared. She smiled warmly at him. Nice trick. Now what?
He smiled back at her. "Tilata," he whispered, pointing first to the image, then to the workbench. "Tilata. Go get that."
Kim frowned, ready to cooperate, but not understanding him. "Rampa?" he suggested. "Can you find it? Rampa. Kim rampa." She looked at the image, considering, then back up at him, puzzled. "Over there," he said, pointing at the workbench.
She reached for the sculpture, and reluctantly he let her have it. She carried it to the workbench, set it down, and returned without it.
Arion was horrified. What if Raach saw it? "Kim, ma. Ma." He looked at her, desperately willing her to bring it back. She did, if for no other reason than she obviously hadn't pleased him. He sighed with relief, smiling. "Kimku. Thank you. Kimku," he whispered, patting her hand.
She was bright, and cooperative, but he had to find a word she knew. "Ah... Bring me this? Mo.. montusha? Montusha Kim.. ah!" He shook his head, smiling at her to reassure her. "Kim montushra tiba. Bring me this. See, this is only a picture. I need the real one. Rampa. Montushra. Over there."
"The word you want is dosha, fetch," Raach said from the doorway.
Arion leaped to his feet, devastated. He had lost before he had a chance to begin. He hurled the unit at him in sheer hatred. Raach blocked reflexively, but Kim started backwards, alarmed. Arion glanced at her, guilty and apologetic, but his attention was on Raach, for he was deeply frightened for both himself and Kim.
Raach looked down at the pocket pal, unperturbed. "That's no way to treat it," he said in Venatese. "Kimta," he said gently. She came slowly, not afraid of him, but still confused by Arion's anger.
"Don't hurt her..." he pleaded softly.
"My little Kimku?" He smiled at her and stroked her hair, moving it out of her face. "No, I would not hurt her because of you. She has done nothing wrong. But you will not see her again. Her presence was a privilege, Cedrychad. Abused privileges will be removed. And you will use my language from now on. Why should I bother with yours when you know mine?"
"I don't know it that well."
"Well enough. You will learn. No more human babble. I will not listen to it." He took Kim by the hand and led her out.
Arion stared after them, his relief a hollow comfort as his frustration rose. He looked about his tiny world, that such a short time ago had seemed so luxurious. It was small, drab, and confining. And now the lessons would continue.
A new answer came to him even then, but it sat in the shadows, refused. He looked at his pocket pal, wondering if it was broken, but when he tried to get it, he found his leash too short.
Raach didn't return until the evening lesson. Arion stood as they entered, uncertain what to expect. Reegat looked at him with a new, unsettling interest. "What do you think of your new damat?" asked Raach, using Venatese.
Of course, thought Arion with fresh relief. Reegat wouldn't feel left out anymore. He hesitated, feigning uncertainty. "Like Yavin."
Raach nodded. "Kim is one of Sharsa's best efforts. I allowed her to be in here to make you feel better, but you are like all the rest. Just because she is damat."
Arion frowned and shook his head. "Again?"
"Kim is smart," said Raach, speaking more slowly. "She made you happy." Arion nodded. "You used her. That was bad."
"Kim is safe?"
"Truth. We begin now." He moved back to his armchair and Reegat came to face him.
"I will kill you, kyon," said Reegat slowly and distinctly.
Arion sighed and nodded. "Today?"
He smiled, pleased. "No." He swung, and Arion dodged back, and so the lesson began. Arion had dreaded it, fully expecting to be punished. It went as any other lesson however, and ended without event. Arion was surprised; if anything it had been easier than usual, and he was not yet fatigued. Suspicious, he looked at Raach.
"You have a question?" encouraged Raach.
He nodded, but hesitated. "How do you say punish?"
"Shir."
"...Shira monti?"
Reegat laughed, incredulous. "You order him!" Arion smiled weakly, grimacing, but looked at Raach. It was highly disrespectful to tell Raach to do anything. In Homonic it was one thing, but somehow, in Venatese it seemed worse, and he suddenly realized that he had also used the form for speaking to one's inferior.
Raach shook his head, dismissing it. "Rumoshirshrat?" he asked, demonstrating. "No. The privilege is removed. It is enough. You are Cedrychad. Such behavior is expected." He picked up the pocket pal. "You do not want this?"
"Can't reach."
Raach nodded and brought it to him. "If it is broken, tell me. Maybe I can fix it." He held it out, but didn't let go.
Arion smiled bitterly. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he answered, releasing it. They left.
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